School Support / Advice & next steps
What to do if communication with school breaks down
It is distressing when communication with your child's school breaks down. Keeping calm and maintaining a written record is the best way to regain focus and move forward.
Quick answer
When communication with school breaks down, move from repeated informal exchanges to one clear written summary of the issue, evidence, desired next step and response requested. Keep language factual, use the school’s escalation process and protect the child from being placed between adults.
What this means
Separate disagreement about facts, provision, tone and process. Ask for one named contact and a meeting with an agenda. Confirm what is agreed and disputed. Use the school complaints policy where ordinary SEN Support conversations have genuinely stalled, but avoid escalating every misunderstanding before giving a clear opportunity to respond.
This means writing clear, non-confrontational summaries of your concerns, what has been requested, and the lack of response to date.
Writing things down also helps you prepare for more formal discussions, ensuring that the 'main issue' remains the focus despite any misunderstandings.
Questions to ask
What exact issue needs a decision? • Which school process applies? • How will the child’s current support continue during the disagreement?
Local Northamptonshire route
The school’s own governance or complaints route usually comes first. North Northamptonshire and West Northamptonshire have separate SENDIASS and council contacts, and responsibility may differ by school type. Check the correct route rather than copying an unrelated complaint.
Free support and useful links
External free resource
West Northamptonshire SENDIASS
Free, impartial SEND information, advice and support for families in West Northamptonshire.
External free resource
North Northamptonshire SENDIASS
Free, impartial SEND information, advice and support for families in North Northamptonshire.
External free resource
Northamptonshire Local Offer
Local SEND information, services and support routes for children and young people.
External free resource
GOV.UK SEND information
Official information about special educational needs, EHC plans and support.
External free resource
IPSEA
Free SEND law information and resources for parents and carers.
External free resource
Council for Disabled Children
National resources and information about SEND support and policy.
Professional help is available if you need it
SENDIASS can provide free impartial information. Independent or legal advice is optional and may help where formal rights, discrimination or urgent deadlines are involved.
What happens next?
Follow the stated process and deadlines, keep correspondence proportionate and continue asking what support the child receives while the adult dispute is resolved.
Support that may help
School SENCO, Headteacher, SENDIASS.
Related guidance
SEND Lantern provides general information to help families understand possible next steps. It does not replace legal, medical or local authority advice.
Independent guidance for families
SEND Lantern is an independent guidance platform operated by SEND Lantern Ltd. We help families explore special educational needs and disabilities support, possible next steps and relevant services. SEND Lantern is not part of the NHS, a local authority, a school or any individual service provider. Information on this website is general guidance and should not be treated as medical, legal or educational advice.