Therapy & Support / Advice & next steps
Friendship difficulties and school support
Seeing your child struggle with friendships is difficult. Remember that social skills develop at different rates, and school staff have a duty to support an inclusive environment where all children can feel safe.
Quick answer
Friendship difficulties may relate to communication, bullying, anxiety, attention, sensory needs, group dynamics or limited opportunities—not a lack of effort. School support should understand the context, protect the child from harm and create safe, realistic ways to connect.
What this means
Ask when difficulties happen, whether the child wants more friendships and what successful relationships look like to them. Support may include a trusted adult, structured shared-interest activities, communication help, quieter social spaces, repair after conflict and clear anti-bullying action. Avoid forcing eye contact, friendship groups or disclosure.
Social difficulties are often circumstantial. By working with the school, you can identify whether the issue is related to playground supervision, lack of structured activities, or a need for social skills support. Clarifying the nature of the difficulty helps the school take targeted action.
Schools are the primary environment for peer socialisation. Before looking for outside support, ensure you have explored the school’s own anti-bullying and inclusion policies. The Local Offer and SENDIASS can provide guidance on how schools are expected to manage these needs.
Questions to ask
Does the child want support with friendship, safety or both? • What happens during unstructured times? • Which shared interests or communication supports could help?
Local Northamptonshire route
The school leads immediate pastoral and SEND support. Use the relevant North Northamptonshire or West Northamptonshire SENDIASS service for free education guidance and Local Offer information for community activities.
Free support and useful links
External free resource
West Northamptonshire SENDIASS
Free, impartial SEND information, advice and support for families in West Northamptonshire.
External free resource
North Northamptonshire SENDIASS
Free, impartial SEND information, advice and support for families in North Northamptonshire.
External free resource
Northamptonshire Local Offer
Local SEND information, services and support routes for children and young people.
External free resource
GOV.UK SEND information
Official information about special educational needs, EHC plans and support.
External free resource
IPSEA
Free SEND law information and resources for parents and carers.
External free resource
Council for Disabled Children
National resources and information about SEND support and policy.
Professional help is available if you need it
School support may be enough. Speech and language, psychology or mental-health input may help where a specific need is identified. Paid social-skills programmes are optional and should respect the child’s consent.
What happens next?
Review the child’s experience, not only adult observations. Escalate bullying or safeguarding concerns through the appropriate school process and keep support focused on belonging rather than conformity.
Support that may help
School SENCO; Pastoral lead; SENDIASS; Educational Psychologists; Wellbeing support.
Related guidance
SEND Lantern provides general information to help families understand possible next steps. It does not replace legal, medical or local authority advice.
Independent guidance for families
SEND Lantern is an independent guidance platform operated by SEND Lantern Ltd. We help families explore special educational needs and disabilities support, possible next steps and relevant services. SEND Lantern is not part of the NHS, a local authority, a school or any individual service provider. Information on this website is general guidance and should not be treated as medical, legal or educational advice.